Sunday, December 12, 2010

Ryan's 2010 Best Of!

Best of 2010


1) Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

-It's difficult to describe how great this album is. Mike did, alot.How good is this? I haven't listened to a record on repeat since Through Being Cool came out, and that had LESS hooks.

2) Nightmares for a Week - Don't die

-Every part of every pop-punk band I've ever loved, but fully original. This shit is genius. Get it?

3) Iron Chic - Not Like This

-Grown up complaint-punk for your homies. It's really heavy handed, which works for me, cause I'm not intelligent.

4) Titus Andronicus - The Monitor

-An epic metaphor for modern life set across a backdrop of the civil war, but in New Jersey/Long Island. Kids in their early 20's have such Imagination! I was watching Titus tour videos, and was dead-ass pulling an Idiocracy, being all "Yo, why for you talking teacher talk, cut the shit". Again, dumb.

5) No Age - Everything in Between

This is my wildcard, because I really only listened to those four albums, and Waylon Jennings. If he put out a 7 inch from the grave, about how some hooker-ghost stole his soul and sent it to hades, that shit would have been 1,2,3,4,and 5.


1) The League

-I feel like this show is pretty much hitting accross the board. Weird people from my high school are always posting on facebook about it. Soccer jocks I know love it. I don't really know any frat boys, but oh shiittttttttttt, they probably get fear boners over the thought of it getting cancelled. It's great, Nick Kroll is great. I really don't know how they let this show on T.V., I watched the season finale last night, and Pete said "They had to re- align my cock". Wow.

2) Friday Night Lights

-"Texas Forever"

3) Community

-This show is so good on such an adorable level. I think like a 17 year old, but am pretty war-torn by car insurance and dinner parties, so grown-up, cutesy shows usually do it for me. Community in reality, just takes old concepts from other shows/movies, and applies them to their formula, but it works. I also have a boner for the girl from Mad Men.

4) Eastbound and Down

- I have only seen three episodes from Season 2, but it's EB&D, it's awesome. Kenny Powers could racist the phone book. I like how slapstick this season is, the little Mexican (not racist) gangster is hilarious. I'm gonna go watch the rest now, to see if he gets his.


1) Scott Pilgrim Vs the World

-Everyone should know this shit is almost TOO up my alley. Nintendo, shitty jokes, Edgar Wright, George Michael, the super hot girl from Death Proof, Fights, swords for 48,000, weird Japanese video games, garlic bread. Wowie zowie, this movie killed it. How good was the soundtrack?? Brie Olsen sounded way better than that goof from Metric. I change my mind about #5 on my albums list. Sex-Bob-Omb "Threshold", killer song.

2) Toy Story 3

-I've never been so nervous.

3) Hot Tub Time Machine

-Rob Cordry is super dumb. I'm loving it. This movie was such a bootleg Apatow camp production. It felt like it was produced by Jeff Rogan. Whatever, there weren't very many good comedies this year, so this one took me by surprise. Also, I'm gunning for Clark Duke, he's too ugly to not suceed.

4) Get Him to the Greek

-Diddy Dirty Money killed the game. "It's Biggest Loser time!" Ha! He really got me. I also can't not love Russell Brand. Have you ever listened to his radio show? It's incredible! He's so silly. He's always trying to "Chat up" "Birds", whatever that means. He first met Katy Perry on a live radio broadcast, and then he MARRIED HER. That's charming.

5) The Social Network

-I love Facebook! All my friends are on it. We poke each other and such. I liked seeing a movie about something I can go home and use, which I did. I totally tagged all my photos, ignored some people I may (and do) know, and really looked at the personally targeted ads on the sidebar Anyway, pretty good movie.

Internet Stuff:

1) Diddy Ciroc Commercial

- "I'm not sorry". The crazier this motherfucker gets, the more I like him. Dave Chappelle was really on point 6 years ago, with the piggy packs and the breast milk. You WILL see Diddy making a cocktail with Ciroc & breast milk, named the "Love you, Ma$e".

2) Gathering of the Juggalos 2010

- What do you say? This is the future of the internet. It's going to be so batshit within 5 years. Like, for real nuts. I can't even imagine it. If 10 years ago, when I was scoring Bloodhound Gang songs from Napster version 1.3, somebody told my I would one day watch a 9 minute infomercial about a hip-hop clown festival where people get raped and spill soda pop on each other, I would have said "What's a yube-tube?". One of the selling points in that informercial is "Guys on stilts". SOLD.

3) Gimme Pizza Slow

-This shit is glorious. The crazy girl with big teeth yelling about whipped cream waterfalls, she kills it. This is how to make something funny, just slow that shit down. Litle girls chopped and screwed. Whoops, just got gross.

4) Runaway Video

-WOW. There's no going back from this. Kanye lives behind the curtain now. He just fucks a tiger while looking in the mirror, repeating "what's funny?".

5) Between Two Ferns

-Best talk show. I really want it to be unscripted. I could imagine serious-face Sean Penn really pulling out his tough street cred, and threatening Zach Galifianakis, who looks like the most unassuming hobo on Earth. Charleze Theron burned him, I was almost sad, I wanted him to hump her on my behalf. I would have said HUZZAH to all the smokin' hot ladies out there. "SEE, it's possible!".

On a Personal Note:

1) Antilogy 4 Year Anniversary Party

- I blacked out. Not that hard. I got in a tiff with my lady, that I'm sure I started, and got weird. I smoked weed. It was wild. I feel like this year was a lot of concreting what I've been doing for a while. People finally don't really ask me "Wait, you do what at Jim's store?". I credit that to Jim basically opening his speech with the explanation. I stay mysterious, bro. Return of Saturn.

2) "Could Have Been Nicer" Show

-We had an art soiree at out favorite bar in town. It was tight. I blacked out way hard. Again, pretty good validation. Although a lot of people asked us "What's even going on here tonight?", followed by an explanation, followed by a dead-stare, and "What?". It was all very high brow.

3) Fire at the Store

- The store caught on fire two weeks after the 4 year party. It was a huge bummer. We kind of went into shock, and just started bucketing water, and cleaning up wet insulation for hours on end. It was very surreal. It's not my store or anything, so I didn't have money invested, but it was still a very year-impacting event. It also took two whole months before everything was repaired. What a drag.

4) Good Times

- The last time we did a best-of-list, it was really depressing, because I think we were still worried about being cool and relevant. So we were pretty self deprecating. This time I don't really want to go out like that. I had by far one of the hardest years of my life. My dad had three major heart surgeries, my parents are broke and my mom will work every day until she dies, my sister is dealing with the fallout of a massive brain aneurysm that she thankfully survived, and everything is changing in leaps and bounds. Most of the time it's getting harder. BUT, I really had some good times this past year. Everyone I know is really grasping at our last bit of pure youth, before you really start feeling guilty every time you drink. It looks like we are starting to really genuinely enjoy the people around us, instead of snidely take them for granted. And for that, I will trade bullshiting some dork at thebar. 2010 can kind of suck it, but also can get a little pat on the back. Now I age but, don't get old.

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